the meaning of family

sometimes i am so pissed off that i have to be matured,
sometimes i hate things happen n heppen again...
i am the youngest in my family, but why i always have to react like im not the youngest....i have go through how many times that what he did to my family?

Seriously, if he break my family apart, i'll really kick him out from my family.i am so envy other people can have a super great brother, their brother can take care of their sister, and can chit chat bout the life.

I've try my best to not compare him with others.when look at him, though sometimes he treated me not badly, but the good treat is not what i want...i rather he know what he's gonna do for his life. Can he just stop make some trouble and make us(especially mum) to worried him. Even now when my mum nagging bout him, as a sister, I've tried to defend him, but after all what he did, i wont defend for him anymore. When mum nagging again bout him, i would just said me and my sis will take care of you, no need bother bout him. Mum wil stop talking any thing bout him after what i said. I knew that mum always worried bout him. I knew she scared after she "gone"(touch wood....my mum will stay until 100 years old), no body can take care bout him.Sigh:" mummy, I'll try my best to take care this older brother, but if he test my limit, i cant promise you what will i do?" But this phrase only kept in deep inside my heart, i wont mention to my mum. No use to add more scar in my family. What i can do was just try to cheer my mum and make fun in my family.I am the joker character in my family. Why i kept talking in my home, because i like my mum can laugh very loudly, my sis can have a big smile on her face(though sis always said i was so annoying and noisy....^^)...

What is the meaning of family? Without the trust or believe in word, i cant trust him anymore. i wont expect he take the responsibility to take care of the family or mum, i just hope he can try to grow up and he can stop being foolish.Chinese have a phrase that said brother can take over father responsibility. But, why after father passed away, after a lot of things happen, he still can act like nothing happen and kept make mistake? Can he just be a man? those mistake he did, i will forgive him for once, but not for twice or more....

i dunno what he did for this time. I'll get to know what happen by tmr night. If he really did those stupid,idiot mistake again!!! i wish i wont yell at him and swept him away. I don't want my family have a big scar again!!The gap between me and him for sure will be grown bigger, just hope it wont break one day and at the end i need to break relationship with him.